Is been five days that I haven’t post anything because I was busy packing, busy packing to move to Value Place which is a place like a hotel something that can allow me to stay in for a month. According to Eling this place is kind of cheaper a bit than Copper Beach because I don’t have to pay for the electric bill here. Well, is true that I have to try to stay warm in Copper Beach last time in order to save the electric bill, and I understand that I didn’t earn the money so I won’t allow myself to waste the money.
This is the video that I took before I left. It’s kind of have a bit of memory for me and Brandon. I have the feeling that once I leave the house, I didn’t owe him anything more. I’m organizing my stuff and also scan everything to him. That’s gonna be the last thing that I left for him. Maybe he deserve to have someone better. What a loser try to say something convince myself...
I have a question here... do you guys know what to do when you know that your best friend is dating your boyfriend which is kind of insane but I also know that the feeling just pop up and you can’t control yourself.
There’s a lot of coincidence like best friend know your boyfriend first they had the feeling toward each other and just that they didn’t let you know or maybe they fell in love when they first met. You know, sometimes things just happened without informing or warning you before it happened...
Also, I always have the feeling that don’t get a best friend which way much more better than you, who knows there might a day that your boyfriend will fall in love in her which bring also if it’s you then it’s you, no one can take it away from you...
My Mr. Right, where are you??? I really wish you are here when I see couple acting sweet in front of me which is I don’t know what to do. Like just sit there and act nothing and just sit there see how sweet they are and at that moment you just turn into a dead item because they are too sweet and they didn’t even realize that you are just sit beside them... I always want to say “can you guys just keep these sweet things among yourself and don’t bring it up when your friends are around you because your friends, they might not know how to react!!!” What??? Act like an idiot or interrupt you guys... No matter what you do, it’s still sound stupid!!! I really hate couple maybe just because I’m always alone and I can really say it loudly, everyone around me, they all have boyfriend but even they don’t have one, they always have the guys who will do whatever for me... But for me, I seriously got nothing... I always want a person to help but there is nobody around...which sounds really sad but actually is not because I always find a reason for myself to think that actually it’s not sad because there must be someone that has a much more awfully than myself...
开始应该忘记以前的所有，真的希望我能够再遇到一个更好的，我好像每次遇到的都不爱我的。我都是在看他们怎样去追其他的女生，或许独立的女生真的会比较吸引吧！！！ 无论怎样，我身边的人都一直的很完美，她们的完美让我看到我有数不完的缺点。。。 我不温柔也不善解人意，有谁会要我这样普通的女朋友，在我身上一个会令人爱上我的原因都没有。。。
以前依凌的完美而遭到三四个男生的追求，而我只是旁边的一个没人要的电灯泡！！！ 再来思玲的更完美，我又再次成为他们身旁的讨厌虫！！！ 然后，到EHY，见过几次面而已，JWL就喜欢她，他说她很可爱。。。
不明白为什么别人都是会比我好，难道我真的没有一样会让人喜欢上我的吗？ 我真的很妒忌，没有必要去隐藏或去讲骗话。。。 因为我真的很羡慕。。。 所以我很努力的去改变可是无论我怎么改变，结果还是一样。。。还是继续的看别人的怎么的相爱或吵架，其实吵架也是一种情趣。而我半个要跟我吵架的都没有。。。
很多人都说不知道为什么那些人要去自杀。。。其实我很明白因为他们是愤世，他们对所有的东西都绝望，他们看不到他们的前面的希望。。。 我有时也这样所以我很了解他们。。。
真的很想很想有一个人可以对我好。。。有时候，真的坚强不来！！！ 忍着哭，忍着所有东西，忍着自己一个人。。。很想要有一个人来抱着我，不用多说，只要抱着我就可以了。。。因为身体还有一个人让我依靠！！！ 我常觉得是不是我的无所谓让别人认为，就算这样对我，我也会觉得无所谓。。。
我只是想要一个拥抱，难道真的那么难吗？？？ 在戏里面，无论剧情发展都怎样，他们最后永远都在一起，那么我的最后结局在哪里？？？
是不是因为我以前的脾气很差，所以我不值得拥有一个好的呢？？？
