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Wednesday, September 24, 2014

【Thoughts|想法】Negative or Positive|不好还是好

September 24, 2014, Wednesday
I grew up as a spoiled child, even so I still have three fierce sisters, they'll always correct me and even scold me when I did something wrong!! Sincerely I won't be mad when they scold me, instead I felt happy about it!! (Guess for the rest, they'll just cried about it!)

I'm very happy with it because I know I still have things to learn and at least I know what's my weakest point and by that I can aim for it keep improving myself without wasting any time!!

But in 20s century nowadays, lots of parents always tend to use "love" education which without any scolding and correcting them even when they did something wrong!! Even they did something wrong, their parents will try their best to fix it and most important is they won't let their children really face the fact or the problems!! Or  some even worst cases are their children can't take any negative comments from others or can't stand up from any failures...... Gradually, when they had encountered any problems, they'll just runaway from problems!! Is like some of 20s or 30s nowadays, they straight away stop school or work just because they can't take the stress or any negative feedback from their friends or colleagues or even their boss!! When you ask them why you're not working or going to school?? They might just answered "no one likes me in school so I don't have any friends, then go to school for what?? OR my parents can support me, work for what? They're not waiting for my salary to pay any the bills, rents, loads or anything?"

What I want to say here is, no one in this world is perfect and they're always right!! We've to learn accept our imperfections and learn from any mistakes we had made!!! And if we can, we should try to accept others imperfections and try to look at the bright side instead, is like a perfect person as you always thought, he/she also has his/her imperfections!!


As a positive and negative feedback? Which one would you accept?? You wish to receive positive feedback to show you've done perfectly fine and nothing to improve?? Or any negative feedback that might bring you down anytime but at least you know which part you've done not so well and lighten it up yourself on the other way round??
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我从小就是一个被宠坏的小孩,即使我被宠爱着但我姐姐还是会很凶的每次纠正我的错误,其实我有点犯贱,别人骂我,反而我会更开心(给做其他人可能就已经伤心哭惨了)

因为有人骂有人纠正才是证明我有进步的空间,我会朝着我的缺点去努力,至少有个方向,不会茫茫冲冲那样乱来,浪费时间!!

但在20时代里,很多家长都开始用爱的教育,以不要说“不爱”或“大声打骂”的方式来教导,导致慢慢的甚至有人可以极端到不能接受任何不好的评论,恶评而乱发飘,觉得一点污点都是一种对他人生攻击,然后就会不断的回骂!!!(这有点让我觉得这就是形成现代小孩很多都受不了挫折跟责骂的原因)不知道你身边有没有至少有一位,因为不喜欢现实的社会,不喜欢被排挤或不喜欢,就索性辍学或甚至不工作,而这些大多都是家里有过得去,不愁吃不愁穿的那种,每当你问他们为什么不工作不读书的时候,他们只会一句“都没有人会喜欢我跟我做朋友,学校没有朋友,上学做么?/家里又不用等我养,不用工作,每星期每个月爸爸妈妈还会进钱给我,做工来做么?。。。等等的。。。”


我想说的是,人没有全然的完美或是完全是对的,我们必须学会接受自己不完美及不对的时候,尽可能的时候我们也不妨接纳别人的不完美,因为一个人即使再有更多的缺点,他也有他个人优点的地方,与其同时,假使一个人再完美再无人能敌,也是有他缺点及不好的地方!!!


其实一个正方,一个反方,你是倾向只接受好的评语,一个劣评都不能接受,还是你宁愿对方对你说实话,而且不管说什么你都照单全收呢???

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21 comments:

  1. Morning dear.. Oh yes, I like your post today.. Very true indeed, all the things you said.. Youngsters nowadays, they don't like something, they show tantrums and keep complaining liao.. Unlike our days, like it or not, we still have to accept it, swallow it, tahan and bear with it.. During my time, I dared not lawan cakap my mum, else, one tight slap on my face, serious.. Now? It's - "You slap me, I go report police"..heh...

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    Replies
    1. errr, maybe you wanna say most are youngsters?? I think not only the youngsters but even some elderly people also like that one.. at least there is one that I know of..

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    2. Hahaha, yah!! My mom also like that, very fierce, nowadays one really difficult, even though the teacher also not dare to punish them, they scared the parents go complain to the school, sigh!! =[

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    3. Is like so not 看不化, right!! Aihs, we only have a life, why so not tension to a single thing that you can't change...

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  2. Train their EQ and life skills. Help them to deal with disappointments in life. I believe scolding without a valid reason could be even worse where some parents did that. I believe talking over it is better. Let them know what's right or wrong.

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  3. hmm glad to hear that you feel happy being scolded, haha!! maybe sounds like a weirdo at first but then read on what you have written, ah yes, you make a point there.. it's all about how feedback, positive or especially negative, are acceptable to ourselves..

    of course while I agree with you about the attitude of the younger generation, I have to say that cannot be 100% generalized lah.. still got exceptions one I believe, not all youngsters behave like this, and not all the elderly people are not behaving like this.. you know what I mean?? when you say one cannot accept negative comments and must defend till the end of time, reminds me of somebody I know of lor..

    having that said, we all are how we were being born and brought up.. I will see your post today as purely a personal opinion and not there to offend or condemn other people.. for we may only have the right to comment on ourselves, we surely stand in no position to judge on other people with our own perceptions.. to each their own, and what we think as positive could be devastating to another and vice versa.. agree??

    nice post today and I just love all these thought provoking topics.. so that's your new style now?? different topic for posts within the same week?? nice, at least not repeating and telling the same old story like my travelogue, muahaha!! :)

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  4. Positive is good - but not too much lest one's head gets too big for one's feet and become so full of oneself. Negative but constructive, perfectly all right...but not any that is maliciously intended to insult and offend.

    I guess your time...no more scolding like "wood stupid like an idiot", lazy/greedy like a pig"...and rampant caning and beating. Count your blessings, times have changed.

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  5. good post.

    Now not easy to be parents. ...not that parents in old days have it easy but rather now too much information. One say must not cane...must talk and reason....another say spare the rod , spoilt the brat....guess each parent have their own way of teaching their kids.

    Positive comments are welcomed. Negative comments are welcomed too if it's given in a constructive way instead of just hentam. Even if wanna scold a child, must at least let the child know what he/she did wrong instead of just scold "stupid", "Block head " and etc.

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  6. 3个字:吃得苦中苦 方为人上人!可惜现在的小孩多半都不懂得这个道理。It's not easy to become parents pun lah nowadays. It is hard not to be cotton wool parents.
    Last time our parents just scold us and whack us if we go out of line. If we complain with our friends at school, the response we get is usually: "Yalo yalo, my mom also whack me!" so we know it is normal.
    Nowadays if you go to school and complain to your friends, they will say "Yer! Why you parents like that one? So unreasonable! My mom will protect me one!" then they come home and think you are cruel and unreasonable and hate you and send you to old folks home when you grow old.

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  7. 现在的父母都太宝贝孩子了。说真的我看了很反感。我在当临教就看过不少。他们有的真的过度了~

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  8. As humans, we do not like people to tell us our weaknesses... when people sai me, I don't like it.. but deep down in my heart, I should take it as a edifying... changing myself for the better.. now I look at it differently.. I found out that I am very impatient, like to do things fast fast and ended up not perfect one.. so now that people has told me this, I got to correct myself.. now be more patient, do things slower so that can get better results! hahahaa...

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  9. Feedbacks are always good. There's no need to be negative about it.

    But of course as a giver of feedback, we must know how to parlay it in a way that it won't hurt the receiver.

    Just kiss-assing someone with good words but later kutuk him/her is us being a hypocrite, IMHO.

    Better be quiet than lying.

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  10. 我其实很同意爱的教育,只不过要适量,适时地生气和说教很重要
    而不是什么都让着让着,这就已经是溺爱了

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  11. Whatever people say about me, I don't mind, I accept good or bad things, cause in the end, I am the one who judge :p

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  12. Give constructive criticisms is better than negative criticisms.

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  13. 是的,虽说现在一直提倡亲子教育,但有时真的也让我迷失了...开口骂又好像不讲道理的妈妈.不骂又好像溺爱了.拿捏间真的很考智慧.

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